One of the books I end up recommending over and over to parents is Tedd Tripps's Shepherding a Child's Heart. Here is an excerpt from its early pages on where the authority for good parenting comes from:
"Our culture tends toward the extreme poles on a continuum. In the area of authority, we tend toward a crass kind of John Wayne authoritarianism or toward being a wimp. God calls you by His Word and by His example (emphasis mine) to be authorities who are truly kind. God calls you to exercise authority, not in making your children do what you want, but in being true servants - authorities who lay down our lives. The purpose for your authority in the lives of your children is not to hold them under your power, but to empower them to be self-controlled people living freely under the authority of God....As a parent, you must exercise authority. You must require obedience of your children because they are called by God to obey and honor you (emphasis mine). You must exercise authority, not as a cruel taskmaster, but as one who truly loves them."
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